More than God

There are some exciting things happening in our adoption process!

If you've read my last post you already know that very recently God is working on my heart.

Let me just say that He's working overtime and all at once on an issue that He feels needs addressing. I must be in a place that God feels I'm ready to submit to Him in this area.

Last Sunday our pastor started a new series called Gods At War.  The first message in this series (9/7/14) addressed the things that battle for our heart. I would say that if you live in the United States it is a reality that we are constantly surrounded by things that battle for our attention. We live in a world of desire, entertainment, excitement, and self. As a follower if Christ we basically need to literally give ourselves to God daily in order to keep God on the throne of our Hearts since there are so many other "princes" out there battling for the throne. With our infertility and adoption journey, I have had to rely on God a lot and during much of this message I was feeling good about God's importance in my life. I'm thinkin' He's #1 because I've needed that in order to survive.

Yeah... well... then Pastor Bruce hits us with this little nugget....

-Anything you want more than God is an idol.- 

Again with a moment of silence to let this one sink in.

I can honestly say that of all the things I've every wanted in my life, and of all the things I've wanted in the last 5.5 years... I've wanted a baby WAY more than I've wanted God. I've spent so much time crying in in pain over not having a baby. I've looked at baby clothes, names, rooms, photos, and anything else I could more than I've spent time with God. I've even spent more time trying to make a family than I have spent time with God or make my relationship with Him better. Yeah... hands down, getting a baby has been my God for the last 51/2 years.... Well then... God, are you saying something here? Am I hearing you loud and clear? First patiently wait? Now, put you back on the throne?  Sometimes when God speaks He whispers... Sometimes he hints... I think it's safe to say God was shouting at me to listen with these two revelations so close together. 

One of the best things about the adoption process is that I am getting to know, a little more,  what it means to be a daughter of Christ. What discipline looks like. What direction looks like. What His love for me looks like. What His best for me looks like. 

So here I sit. TRYING to patiently wait for my baby. And instead of NEEDING my baby right now, I'm thanking God that Little Landmark is a short time away and that Little Landmark is mine.